Home life

Since my last post, I have moved into my parents place. We couldn’t afford rent and internet let alone two places to live in. My partner lives and works in another area for his job and we only see each other for two days every two weeks for the weekend, which wasn’t really seeing each other since he spent most of his time playing online games with his friend who lives in a different province. Apparently, he needs his attention more than he needs mine. Yes, I did bring it up and no it didn’t do anything but result in him shrugging it off and saying it was only for a few hours even though we barely see each other. That was nice to know where I stood, beneath someone I don’t know.

Long story short, I’m living with my mom. Which it wasn’t easy to ask to live with her. I swallowed my pride and asked and was met with ‘Why? That’s your dads room and it’s also meant for when your sister breaks up with her boyfriend and needs somewhere to live’ and ‘How long do you think you’re going to stay here? I want to do other things with my life you know!’ Meaning she doesn’t want me here, which I don’t want to be but housing takes months to find…

Believe me I don’t want to be here, it reminded me why I wanted to leave in the first place. Constantly listening to my parents yell at each other over stupid insignificant things.

The healing process for my wounds came to a halt, maybe because of my now poor diet, afraid to eat anything in the place or I’ll end up hearing ‘why did you eat all of the fucking fruit? oh my god why do you eat so much?!’ from my mom, so I eat the bare minimum and drink lots of water to keep myself as full as I can and it doesn’t help all the stress I have from feeling like I’m always walking on egg shells or be yelled at…

Getting to my appointments is becoming more difficult, it falls into ‘I’m busy, I have other things going on too’ so asking any family member to take me to them is next to impossible or feels like pulling teeth and/or they want gas money.

Like tomorrow I have surgery for my left eye again to clean out all the debris’ build up caused by old inflammation. Yes, they knew for a month. No, no one changed anything to take me…

I don’t have any money to get there by cab..  So, I’ll probably miss it

That’s what has been up with me lately, not much else just a string of disappointments.

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