Opportunities and Realizations

I’m not used to putting myself on display, sure- I’m a aspiring chef, and singer, and I put myself on display in those ways.

But this blog is me wearing my heart on my sleeve and asking you to understand, not to criticize or ask for advice on how to run my life but just to understand where I feel I have felt wronged all my life.

My new medicine has yet to kick in, my doctor is hell bent on keeping me on it until the next time I take it, which will be the 12th of August, I have to take it the same day every month.
To cope with the massive flare ups my doctor prescribed me Prednisone, which I take 4, for one week, and decrease by one every week until they’re gone.

I’m on week two I believe, and it has helped a lot, considering the side effects that it can have if you take it for a long stretches of time, such as a few months long. The naproxen I have been taking since I was 7 wasn’t strong enough to ease the pain but the predisone helped.

It’s not recommended I drink caffeine while on this drug but, HA that’s not gonna happen.
I can live without alcohol but my morning cup of coffee, yeah, no way in hell am I letting that go.

I have one more month for this medicine to take effect and when it doesn’t, I get to tell my doctor to shove it. My doctor asked when I have a week off so we can try the radiation surgery on my knee again, I just laughed and said when I’m dead. I’m in the culinary world, you have to book it off months in advance even for 3 days off.

Especially with school coming up and the school’s policy with no one can miss more than 5 days or you’re kicked out is not something I can do.

Trust me, I missed 3 days last school semester and had the educational director say to me in a meeting if I miss two more days I get kicked out, doesn’t matter if I have a disability or not, it’s the schools policy.

Which to me, kind of sounds like a law suit waiting to happen, but that’s just my opinion.

I never thought of writing a blog about my illness before, my boyfriend had suggested a food blog after I had written my first few posts, and I’m thinking about it, but this is occupying my time and mental well being just fine.

I was just looking for someone like me, that I can maybe talk to and came across a hand full of people that have the same illness and where writing about it from different perspectives, how it started, when they were diagnosed and coping with it.

Then I realized I have a lot to say about it, most have lived with it a few years, but if you’re unlucky enough, you live with it since you were just a child.

With this disease comes more insecurities, surgery’s, and mental break downs than anyone realizes.

Even though I am having one of the roughest summer I have had in years, I’ll get through it.


“Pain Demands to be Felt”